Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
