i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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