so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
