the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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