SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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