I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
