they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
