I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
