They should really pass out barf bags in church
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
where are my eyebrows?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
