I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize