Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
