Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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