The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
