I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
