You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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