i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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