He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
