i just had sex bonerless
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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