Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The uberlube is also flammable
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize