About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
