What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
