Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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