ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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