well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
