I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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