whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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