Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
