please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
