I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
