Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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