So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
