"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
