Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
