I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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