You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
