you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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