i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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