people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
