Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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