accomplished twins. life is a go
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
