There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
