Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
