Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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