I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
