If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
The ass gains better be worth it
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