Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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