ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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