i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
