she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
