come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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